is this even real?

The worst part about death, to me, is that we typically don't know when it's coming. And I'm not talking about our own lives. We have no idea when someone we love will go before their time, so we're not consciously and constantly treating them how Jesus would. Instances like last night cause me to reevaluate how I treat people on a day-to-day basis. I don't like telling people I love them because I think those words are overused...but then again, how will anyone ever know I love them unless I tell them? Acts of kindness aren't always good enough. I mean that's how I show people I care about them, but I'm sure it'd be nice to hear it too. And I should be nicer to my family. My brothers and sisters and parents and cousins have been my only faithful friends, and I don't know what I'd do if I lost one of them at this point. I wish I could have gotten to know my baby brother better. I know he was special and I can't wait to see him in Heaven. As for last night, I pray that this mourning time for the Self family will bring them closer together and make them stronger in their faith. Although the Lord has a purpose for everything, figuring out that purpose is often a puzzle with a million pieces that most people give up on. But I hope God reveals the purpose for Jason's death to his family eventually. I still can't believe this. I don't want to believe it. But...Rest in Peace, Jason Self. Have a blast in Heaven!